LOVE. Such a simple word and yet, it is one of the most difficult word to define and among the most complicated emotion one can feel. It is also one of the most Google-d word of 2012. According to research, an average person falls in love only four times over their lifetime. And when we do fall in love, after a while, when the initial ‘high’ starts to fade, we begin to question the relationship.
While we are unlikely to follow the footsteps of Jennifer Lopez (with 3 marriages and 2 high profile relationship) but we might drive ourselves crazy not knowing if he/she is the one. Well, no one can be certain if a man or a woman is Mr.Right or Ms.Right, but here are 10 signs that you may be on the right path:
1. They LISTEN and COMMUNICATE with you
Did you know that we’re not born as good listeners? It is a skill that we need to practice to make it perfect. Psychologists say that listening is critical in building a good relationship. A good and healthy relationship involves effective and active listening. The right one would actually listen to you instead of thinking about what they have to say next or trying to develop a counter argument. Both of you are able to speak out about your needs, no matter how difficult and the communication is never one-sided.
If there were any understandable dissatisfactions, say you were talking to another girl/guy, they will tell you straight up how it makes them feel without throwing a tantrum or getting all passive aggressive.
2. They are NOT AFRAID to act like a fool in front of you
According to relationship experts, couples who have fun and aren’t afraid of making a fool of themselves in front of each other keep their relationship alive. Romance and intimacy do not always have to be intense, You-jump-I-jump or the Twilight’s Edward-need-to-be-with-Bella situation. Happy couples enjoy poking fun at each other and using humor to spice things up! So its a good sign if your partner is acting like a goof ball and you reciprocate!
3. They ARGUE with you
Couples argue all the time. Most happily married couples argue everyday! Whether is a small squabble or a full on verbal crusade, arguing is normal and in fact, healthy for the relationship. Healthy couples would usually try to sort out an argument immediately or as soon as possible without sweeping it under the rug and make things worst. The right one would relentlessly try to resolve issues without the intention of hurting your pride or dignity and this is a good sign that they truly care about the relationship. They focus on the solution and not bitch about the problem. Although some people differ (maybe because they have bigger egos), at the end of it all, having both parties putting the effort to resolve the existing issue is all that matters.
Although it is a very uncomfortable situation to be in but if you don’t fight at all, perhaps there is nothing left to fight for in the relationship?
4. They bring out the BEST in you
Relationship always starts with an initial attraction, be it physical, intellectual or emotional. As the relationship matures, these things start to fade and the ‘true’ self is revealed. No one is perfect but in a healthy relationship, couples strive to be the ‘best’ for each other. Not only that, they would try to bring out the best in you for your own good. This is very different from them trying to change you to make you more compatible to themselves. Rather, they will make you a better person instead of putting you down.
5. They give you your SPACE
A healthy relationship does not mean that you depend solely on each other for happiness. Couples should feel secure and independent enough to have their own space, interest, friends, hobbies and time. The right one wold be comfortable for you to have your own time and they do not need to cling on you all the time. In fact, its good to enjoy a little ‘me’ time once in a while.
6. They are your BIGGEST FAN
Its okay for a couple to have different interests or different opinions. Heck, you may not even have anything in common at all. But what matters is that they care about what you care about and you find yourself doing the same. They are always the biggest fan of yours even if what they care about is not your cup of tea and you wouldn’t think twice to take those pom-poms and cheer them on! No matter what you’re doing, they are the ones to encourage and support you fully.
7. They make TIME for you
Healthy couples always make time for each other. The right one would take time out of their busy schedules just to be with you. They would not need to plan for a date or do something extravagant. Most of the time, its about connecting with each other again and get lost in your own little world. It’s understandable that one might be busy, but there is no such thing as “I’m too busy” for a whole week. If they are swamped with work, the right one will take atleast one hour off their day to call you right before bed.
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8. They RESPECT you
A healthy relationship is about respecting each other. Without respect, the relationship falls apart with negative criticism and put-me-downs. A good couple nurtures each other’s self-esteem and contrary to the term “falling” in love, love actually elevates the your self worth and self respect. Its a given, if he or she does not respect you, then they are not the right one for you.
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9. They make DECISIONS with you
Couples in a healthy relationship always make decisions together. There is no longer an “I” but “us” and “we”. Successful relationships learn how to function as a team and lean on one another’s strengths. In this team, no one dominates and both have equal rights and say in every decision and they care for what you actually think. Also, both of you would participate in the decision making, expressing your thoughts on whether you like it or not. They will tell you straight up if they didn’t like the idea so both of you can meet halfway.
They should not show any indifference, so instead of saying “Anything, you decide” or “whatever suits you”, one would ask “What do you think?” and deliberate from there. Ofcourse, watch out for warning signs when your other half tries to manipulate you to follow their decisions.
10. They COMMIT to you
Unlike the movies, real life love story doesn’t end with “you had me at Hello” or “They lived happily ever after”. A healthy relationship means a long term commitment in making the relationship work. Couples who has long and enduring relationship worked very hard to get to where they are. They do not only rely on their initial attraction and hope that everything else turns out well. So if you want to know if he or she is the right one, see how much they would work for your relationship.
If your relationship is showing the majority of these signs, you may well be on your way to your happily-every-after. If not, you might want to work on it or find a solution. But remember, it takes two to tango! 🙂
