“I’ve done everything I can” – M’sian Details Toll of Caring for Father Struggling with Alcoholism, Debt & Jail

A recent story has surfaced after a Malaysian opened up anonymously about the heart-wrenching struggles of caring for a father battling long-term alcoholism.

In their testimonial, Shane (a pseudonym) recalled how their father would frequently drink until he passed out, often sleeping in public spaces. Shane described it vividly, noting that it felt as if “he had practically ‘lived’ everywhere.”

For illustration purposes only

Escalating debts and threats

As the story unfolds, Shane painted a bleak picture of how their father’s addiction led to destructive habits, including accumulating significant debt and threatening family members.

Shane shared:

“He struggled with long-term alcoholism, often drinking until he passed out, sleeping by the roadside, in elevator lobbies, and in corners throughout the building.

“He would lose control, destroy property, run up debts, and even threaten family members with his words and actions. During that time, my family and I lived in fear every day. For our safety, we eventually had to move out completely.”

For illustration purposes only

A cycle of arrests and compassion

Despite the turmoil, Shane explained that they did their best to provide care over the years.

“Every weekend, I would pack meals, buy snacks for him, and give him a small allowance to ensure he wouldn’t go hungry. I had tried giving him larger sums of money before, but he simply used it to buy alcohol and ended up causing more trouble.”

The father’s behaviour eventually escalated. One incident landed him in police custody for causing a public disturbance while intoxicated; another resulted in a four-month prison sentence.

“I went alone to the police station to help manage the situation, plead on his behalf, and arrange bail. Later, when he was sentenced to four months in jail, I visited him every month.

“I wanted him to know he still had a family and hoped he could start fresh once he was released.”

For illustration purposes only

Declining health and repeated hospitalisations

Not long after his release, the father developed severe health problems and required urgent surgery. Shane explained that there were no available beds for post-operative recovery, forcing the family to arrange for a stay in a nursing home.

“During that time, I drove a long distance every day after work just to visit him. I wanted him to feel cared for, hoping that after everything, he might finally look after himself.

“However, after being discharged, he ignored the doctor’s advice to rest. He behaved in ways at home that were incredibly difficult to accept, making the environment extremely unhygienic. Eventually, he had to be hospitalised and operated on again. Throughout that period, I continued to travel back and forth to the hospital every day.”

For illustration purposes only

A final disappearance 

Soon after Shane checked him into a nursing home for the second time, the father’s behaviour shifted again. Shortly after, Shane was informed that their father had run away. To date, the nursing home has been unable to locate him.

Shane shared:

“I arranged for him to go to a nursing home, paying for two months upfront. I hoped the professional care would help him recover properly and allow me to focus on work with some peace of mind.

“I have done everything possible to accommodate his needs, even arranging extra supplies to make him comfortable. But his mood and behaviour fluctuated constantly, leaving me increasingly exhausted. No matter what I do, it seems impossible to make things better.”

What are your thoughts on this? Let us know in the comments!

Also read: 22yo Penang Man Fills Bedroom with Bottles of Own Urine Despite Nearby Toilet Following Ketum Addiction