Just like everyone else, parents have a tendency to rant. But sometimes, they tend to rant about their children to others.
This may seem like a norm, especially with Asian parents, but it isn’t exactly a good thing.
Malaysian paediatrician, Redza Zainol, took to his Facebook page to explain why, after overhearing a conversation between a parent and his colleague.
He wrote, “From the next desk, I overheard my colleague talking to a mother.”
Dr Redza shared how his colleague had asked the mother if her child has mastered drawing to which she replied, “How can I say yes, doctor? My kid is lazy. He’s lazy to hold a pencil even when asked to. He’s lazy to colour even when asked to.”
Her words angered him.
“Not once or twice have I met parents like this. Unconsciously, mothers and fathers have condemned their own children in front of them.
“Unconsciously, we have exposed the shame of our children to outsiders. When our kids hear this, their hearts will be sad. When repeated, the sadness will build,” he shared, adding that the sadness will eventually turn into anger and vengeance.
He remembered how an uncle had once asked Dr Redza, who had given him the most words of encouragement as he grew, to which he replied his mother.
“Every day, she kept saying good words to me. You are a good child. You are early to pray, you are a hardworking learner, you take care of your siblings, you are a smart kid. From the morning until night time, that what she would say. Until it was ingrained in me. Never has my mother said anything bad about me. And everything she has said, I still remember to this day.”
He also shared some advice for parents who tend to rant about their kids.
“While parents say good things about their kids, try holding their hand or putting yours on their shoulder. Surely they will feel at peace. The feeling of being appreciated and loved will come in abundance. These memories are what your children will remember until adulthood. Today, we’ll speak highly of our children and in the future, they will speak highly of us,” he said.
Children are very observant of their parents’ behaviour and attitude towards them, and can easily be manipulated based on the emotions they perceive from their parents.
We should encourage and uplift them, in hopes that they’ll take our kind words and turn them into reality. After all, you’ll never know how badly your negative words could be effecting your children.
With such negativity, you might possibly be pushing your kids further and further away from you.
What do you think about this? Let us know in the comment section.
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