9 Types of Colleagues You Wish You Had Never Met

They say the office is your second home. The average person spends around 40 – 45 waking hours a week in the office. That’s almost 40% of our waking hours. Naturally, we would develop bonds with our colleagues and people we meet in our line of work. But having said that, the office is a ‘colorful’ place; you’d meet people from all walks of life and not everyone would fit in your palette. I’m sure many of us would have met these characters at work and wished that we could have Aladdin’s lamp to deal with the situation or fly us somewhere else.

1. The Singer

The Malaysian Idol wannabe. The one who would turn on the music so loud or listen to the music on his/her headphone while singing along out loud! Maybe you’ve met those who would even praise their own singing? How about the annoying humming that’s not too loud to be a nuisance to your boss but just loud enough so it felt like a constant buzzing in your ears?!

2. The Loner

They may or may not be Norman Bates in the closet but the loner sure love his/her time alone. They wouldn’t join you for lunch no matter how many zillion times you invite them. They would hide in a corner during office party. But having said that, they usually get the work done and are either the earliest to leave the office or the latest.

3. The Busybody

The CNN of the office. Sometimes they’re fun to be around and even useful if you need to find out about something. Like whether or not you will get the bonus this year or why the boss is angry at you. However, more often than not, these gossip kings or queens are just bad for office morale and having a ‘spy’ waiting to catch all your ‘soldier’s’ mistakes at all times is just not good for business.

4. The Egomaniac

The Egomaniacs must have the last say in everything. They need to feel important in a meeting even if it has nothing to do with them. They can’t stop praising themselves or even stop talking about themselves! They refuse to listen to your opinions and they believe they know-it-all or is right about everything. Just don’t let it get to you, these egomaniacs are deprived of attention. Steer away as far as you can from them and days will be smooth sailing from there!

5. The Creeper

Usually applicable to girls, creepers appear normal when you first meet them but after crossing paths with them a couple times more, you find them trying a little too hard to gain your attention. Whether it’s asking you out for a one-on-one lunch, or offering to walk you to the train station/car, these type of people do not back down no matter how many times you’ve rejected them. #takeahint

6. The Pessimist

The constant meltdown, the bitching, the complains, the world is ending, the sky is falling… there’s never a silver lining for the pessimist. While some are a result of the situation (perhaps being in the wrong line of work or unhappy with other factors in their lives) but some pessimist are just that..a Pessimist. They refuse to see the good in anything and always believe that good things are too good to be true or nothing is ever good enough. This character can be toxic to the company. They can even start a riot if given enough attention.

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7. The Slacker

The Slacker has an uncanny talent for looking like a hard worker in the eyes of the boss. They’re usually pretty smart, too, some are even geniuses. Most of the time, you’re amazed at their speaking skills when the boss asks them how they are doing and they give all the bs in the world.

8. Food Thief

The Joey Tribbiani of the office. There are two extreme versions of the food thief. They are either always hungry and always talking about food or does not like to be seen with food at all, very secretive about their food and always seem full because they’ve already eaten YOUR share in the fridge. While the latter one does his/her ‘crime’ in the dark, the always-hungry food thief does it out in the open. They would not hesitate to take your food (without permission) if its sitting on your desk or even in the fridge with your name on the label.

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9. The Stalker

Due to the rise in social media, to stalk someone is fairly easy. Try Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, there are so many ways one can see your profile if you don’t have them privatized. In one occasion when I was chatting with a colleague, she asked me how my Europe trip was when I clearly never told her about it before. As flattering as it may be, it is NOT.

Good or bad, these characters make work-life interesting unless you prefer to work in the mundane world of Factions. But realistically, we’re never a single character. Even the Ego-maniacs have their selfless days but on bad days, you really wish you’d never met any of these characters!