Valentine’s Day For Dummies: 8 ‘Sure-Fire’ Tips to Secure a Date if You’re the Forever Alone Type

Today, 14 February, is Valentine’s Day and we all know what that means: sappy couple posts on your social media feed, public display of affection at every corner, and if you’re single, chances are you’ll be in front of your computer binge-watching your favourite series.

For those of you who have had lonely V-days over the years, I feel you – which is why I’ve created a list of a few things to turn our fate around on this very day. So, if you’re also the “forever alone” type like me, here are 8 essential tips on how to make a girl run the other way into your arms this Valentine’s.

1. Create your own dating CV and let social media work its magic 

Seriously, how often have you met someone decent on Tinder? Not many, I bet. So, instead of wasting your precious time swiping away, why not take the initiative to create your own dating résumé? Not only does it take just a few minutes to create, but you’ll also be avoiding all those creeps you come across every now and then on Tinder. Thank me later.

2. And if she still needs convincing, make a professional PowerPoint presentation on why she should date you

All those years in college preparing presentation slides is going to come into play now. Don’t be afraid to get fancy with all those smart art, animations, and transitions. Heck, you can even create line graphs detailing where you see this relationship in 5 years. The trick is to always be confident so she’ll probably buy it.

3. Go through your high school yearbook, blindfold yourself, and call whichever girl your finger lands on

A good friend of mine tried this and that decision sparked a beautiful two-year relationship.

Calling up a friend asking to ‘catch up’ is wayyy less awkward than actually asking someone out on a date. She’ll be thinking it’s just a random hangout sesh but you know what’s up. Tactics brother.

4. Set your crush up on a blind date with an imaginary friend 

Pull off the legen-wait-for-it-dary ‘he’s not coming’ move by Barney Stinson.

Asking a girl out on a date can be quite a daunting experience, especially if she’s someone you know and you don’t want to ruin your friendship in case you get rejected. Well, one way to indirectly get her to go out with you is to set her up on an imaginary date with one of your ‘friends’.

Here’s how it’s done:

1. Tell her you know this really great guy and that you can set them up together.
2. If she agrees to the date, pick out her favourite restaurant and tell her he’ll meet her there. Groundwork is important here. Learn what’s her favourite food and impress her by pre-ordering it.
3. During the date, make up a bullshit excuse and say your friend couldn’t make it. And because you didn’t want her to get stood up, you decided to replace him. (note: be sure you sound really convincing so she’ll agree to spend the night with you).
4. If she agrees to stay, be on your top game, making sure she enjoys her night. This is vital, if you blow it, you might not get another chance of asking her out. Succeed, however, and she’ll realise what a sweet and fun guy you are.

Like I said, tactics brother.

5. Don’t be ashamed to enlist a wingman/woman 

No man is an island and neither are you. Enlisting a wingman to help you in your quest is a good way to attract her by having them talk you up.

Pro tip: If you decide to enlist a wingman, make sure you’re more or at least equally attractive as him. If he’s wayyy more good looking than you, sure lah the girl will choose him instead, right?

6. Use social media to your advantage by showcasing your skills/talents

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Kunal Chopra (@get2dachopra) on Nov 17, 2018 at 5:47pm PST

Of course, don’t be a jakun and post obnoxious photos of your body on IG all lah. Instead, if you’re a talented artist or a budding photographer, post your work online so others may appreciate them as well. This would serve as a good conversation starter, and who knows, your talents might actually be her type.

7. ‘Date’ your crush’s mum because it’s always important to tackle the parents… trust me 

Now, when I say ‘date’ I don’t mean it in a romantic sense because that’s just weird. What I mean is, get to know their mum a little and be sure to set a good impression of yourself. One way you can do this is by meeting her parents to introduce yourself before taking her out on a date. Pulling this off successfully will tell her that you’re a trustworthy guy and this might even get her to coax her daughter into dating you. Plus, you won’t have to deal with the drama of her parents rejecting your relationship when things get serious. Smart right?

8. And don’t forget to ‘date’ yours as well 

It’s a common mantra among girls that how a guy treats his mum says a lot about how he’ll treat his partner. No girl likes someone who’s rude and treats their mother poorly so be sure you start at home.

So, we’ve reached the point of the article where I should address the clickbait nature of the headline. Is it really clickbait? Maybe it is. But since you’ve made it this far, it’s only responsible for me to leave you with valuable parting thoughts.

The truth is, getting a date starts with you putting yourself out there and not being afraid of rejection. Many of us (myself included) are often afraid of getting rejected that we fail to take our chances whenever the opportunity of getting to know someone arises. Be confident with your advances and always remember that a pretty face is no compensation for an ugly heart. So, treat her kindly, always.

Happy V-day y’all and good luck! 

Also read: 8 Fun Things M’sian Couples Who Are Broke AF Can Do This Valentine’s Day