Do you ever feel like people are constantly trampling all over your personal space?
Setting personal boundaries can be a tricky thing to do. If you do it wrongly, you might end up pushing people out of your life instead. But that doesn’t mean that you should let people walk all over you! If this is something you’ve been struggling with, then we have some great inspirations for you! Just read on to find out how these Malaysians learned to set personal boundaries to live their life authentically.
1. “Politely say ‘no’ by offering different solutions (that won’t require your help).”
“When I first started working at this boutique agency, my colleagues knew that I transferred from a multinational corporation. Because of that, they would often ask me for favours with their tasks. At first, I was happy to help because I thought they needed genuine support. But after a while, I started to feel used and taken advantage of. It got to a point where I was “helping” them even after working hours or over the weekend. I realised that I was being pushed around just because I was too afraid to stand up for myself.
One day, I decided I had enough and I started to (politely) say ‘no’ by offering different solutions like “I won’t be able to assist you right now but I did a quick Google search and found this page that should help you.” After consistently doing that, they finally realised they could solve their problems themselves and stopped asking me for unnecessary favours which was a huge relief! Not only did it ease my burden at work, but it helped me stay more focused on my tasks, too.” – Hannah, 26
2. “Consider the state of your mental health before anything else”
“My friend would always come to me to vent about her problems but sometimes, it would get too emotionally heavy for me to handle. I understand that she is only looking for some emotional support and if I’m in a good mental state, I would be happy to be there for her. But as a fellow student, I’m also constantly battling with my studies, financial problems, homesickness, etc. Even so, I’d feel bad to say this to her face so sometimes, I would just ignore or avoid her and that actually caused us to become distant from each other.
After a while, I realised that it was my fault for not communicating my feelings more clearly. It was also very mean of me to dodge my friend when she needed me. So, I came clean about my situation and thankfully, she understood where I was coming from. From then on, we would try to dedicate a day where we would meet and share our problems so that we can both be fully present for each other.
Even though I learned this lesson the hard way, it still taught me the importance of setting a healthy boundary, not just for myself but also for the benefit of my relationships with the people around me!” – Lisa, 23
3. “Set a schedule to connect with loved ones especially when you’re swamped.”
“After I started working, I struggled to divide my time between my work and my personal life. As a result, it impacted my relationship with my family. My parents would nag about how I was too busy to see them. The worst part is, if I rejected their calls at work or cancelled dinner plans because I was too tired to go out, they would take it very personally and think that I was being a bad son for prioritising work over my loved ones.
The situation eventually turned into a heated argument. That was when my parents explained they never meant to interfere with my work. They simply wanted me to take it easy because of how busy I was. It made me realise that it was my fault for not keeping a clear boundary between work and personal life and that I was taking out my frustrations on them.
Now, my family and I have agreed to stick to a schedule where we would have family dinners every alternate Thursday night and if they need to call me, they would do so during my lunch break or after 5PM only! This definitely helps to manage expectations and it’s a good reminder to take a break every once in a while, too!” – Daniel, 30
4. “Remind yourself that saying ‘yes’ is not compulsory, but a courtesy!”
“Growing up, my parents have always been generous with me and they also taught me the importance of sharing what we have to help those in need. Because of this, I rarely say no whenever my friends would ask me for a favour. But over the years, I noticed my friends started to take my generosity for granted. They’d always ask me to fetch them from their homes because I have a car or they’d ask me to pay for our mamak meals first (and they’d usually forget to pay me back). Yes, it can get tiring but I convinced myself that it never hurts to help other people.
That is, until one day, my friend asked to borrow RM3,000 as capital to start his online “bundle shop” business. Mind you, I was only a college student at the time! I told him I didn’t have that kind of money and he said, “But your parents are rich, right? Can’t you ask them?” That’s when I decided enough was enough. It’s not that I didn’t want to help but the ordeal made me feel like my friends only saw me as a walking ATM machine.
That was the big turning point that made me realise that saying ‘yes’ is not compulsory but a courtesy! Sometimes, it’s better to just say no instead of making yourself go through hurdles for something that doesn’t even benefit your life.” – Sam, 24
After going through these stories, do you think it’s possible for you to set your own boundaries?
We get it, setting boundaries can be difficult. Most people tend to overlook its importance because they do not want to come off as standoffish or distant. But there’s a difference between pushing people away and asking them to respect your boundaries.
Even though it might seem awkward, uncomfortable or even painful, setting personal boundaries is crucial for your mental health and well-being. All it takes is some courage to overcome this fear. After all, these bold Malaysians have proven that it IS possible and we applaud them for showing us that it is worth it to take that daring first step to stand up for ourselves!
Speaking of bold Malaysians that we admire, we at WORLD OF BUZZ, together with our friends at Tiger Beer, would like to continue encouraging our fellow Malaysians to share their own stories of how they battled and overcame a personal challenge too!
With Tiger Beer’s recently announced #YetHereIAm campaign, we hope that all Malaysians from all walks of life will take that bold step to share their personal stories of courage with the world! ?
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The purpose of this campaign is to serve as a reminder and inspiration to fellow Malaysians that if you keep the spirit of defiance alive in yourself, anything in life can be achieved! ?
In fact, the campaign itself was inspired by the origins of Tiger Beer which started out by courageously challenging the norm. Back then, beer originated from Europe and it was thought to be impossible to brew in the Asian heat. But in 1932, Tiger Beer was born in the streets of Asia and proved that with enough determination to overcome the odds, nothing is impossible! ?
Want to know how you can share your stories? Just follow these easy steps!
- Head to the #YetHereIAm website and scroll to the custom badge generator. Pick a phrase that best encapsulates your story.
- Once it has been generated, you can further customise the badge by adding it to a background photo of your choosing.
- Once you’re done, click ‘share’ and choose between Facebook or Instagram to share your badge on social media. There will also be a pop-up page where you can fill in your details to redeem a FREE personalised Tiger Beer bottle!
Some things to note for the free Tiger Beer bottle:
- Make sure your social media profile is public so that it can be reviewed for eligibility.
- One person is eligible to redeem one bottle only while stocks last.
Look how cool our customised badge looks!
There’s no better way to celebrate your achievement than seeing your story personalised on a bottle that symbolises your strength and courage that you can show off to the world! In fact, Tiger Beer was super kind to send us our very own personalised bottle inspired by this very article. Doesn’t it look super cool?! ?
So, don’t wait too long, guys! This bottle will be a limited-edition product and redemption is only available while stocks last so make sure to join this movement now, okay! If you need some inspiration or if you have any questions, just head on over to the #YetHereIAm page or you can also keep up with this campaign via Tiger Beer’s Instagram or Facebook pages.
P/S: Please remember that Tiger Beer is meant to be enjoyed by non-Muslims over the age of 21 years old only and always remember to consume responsibly, okay!