A Malaysian mother born in the 1980s, raising three young children, is facing mounting financial and emotional stress at home.
She and her husband, a commission-based salesperson, earn a combined monthly income of RM15,000 to RM20,000. While she has a steady salary, he relies heavily on commissions, making their finances somewhat unpredictable.
Despite this, they have always tried to live frugally, save money, and plan ahead for their children’s education and future needs.
Unfortunately, the main source of stress is the husband’s mother
She lives with them and spends money without restraint.
Although she has a job, her low income is entirely spent on personal entertainment, leaving her unable to save. Meanwhile, the couple ends up paying for nearly everything, daily living expenses for their family of five, her car instalments, maintenance, insurance, mobile bills, shopping, and even items she purchases during outings.
She treats the family like an unlimited wallet. On one occasion, she picked out an RM300 dress while shopping, and her son paid for it, something the daughter-in-law still struggles to come to terms with.
Sharing her dilemma on XUAN’s Facebook page, the woman said her mother-in-law frequently insists on going on trips but expects the couple to cover all expenses. On a recent trip, the package cost RM3,500, but additional shopping pushed the total to RM5,000. This marked the third time such an incident had occurred. The constant financial burden has left the couple feeling exhausted, powerless, and trapped.
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“I’ve tried talking to my husband about this, but he just can’t say no to his mother. My father-in-law is retired and doesn’t want to confront her either,” she shared.
“I understand that their generation believes children should support their parents, but our savings aren’t meant for her. They’re for our kids and our family’s future. It’s not fair that we’re constantly footing the bill.”
The contrast between her careful budgeting and her mother-in-law’s reckless spending feels deeply unfair. At times, she even considers the painful option of allowing her mother-in-law to spend freely while the family stops saving altogether, simply to regain some sense of control over where the money goes.
Caught between obligation, financial strain, and the urgent need to secure their children’s future, the family remains in a constant state of frustration and anxiety.
