The Johor State Legislative Assembly Member (ADUN) for Skudai, Marina Ibrahim, is urging parents to be more open-minded regarding their children’s choice of study in higher education.
Taking to her Facebook page, she shared several instances she had encountered of parents controlling the academic paths their children take at university.
She wrote, “I have read several statements from SPM graduates who were pressured by their parents to pursue fields they do not like. I also previously heard on the radio about a mother who used her child’s password to change the degree programme they had applied for.”
“Do not use your rights as a parent to pressure a child to follow your own tastes. You can discuss matters, but do not force them,” she added.
The cost of control: depression and estrangement
Marina went on to share two cases she has personally handled, where one student experienced extreme stress while another chose to cut off all contact with their father.
“At my office, I once handled a case of a student who was experiencing extreme stress because their mother forced them to become a doctor. While their SPM results were excellent, they were not interested in medicine; their passion was culinary arts,” Marina explained.
She also recounted a second case involving a father who was distressed because his child had seemingly disappeared.
“This uncle was experiencing extreme stress himself, claiming he was looking for his missing child who had gone abroad to study and had not contacted him for years,” she said.
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A hidden reality
Initially, Marina felt sympathetic toward the father, assuming the child was ungrateful. However, she later discovered a different reality after speaking with the child’s mother and sister, who remained in contact with the student.
They revealed that the father had been forceful and overbearing since the child was young, which eventually led to severe mental health struggles.
“When the child moved abroad, the mother and sister respected their decision to avoid the father for the sake of their mental health. It turned out the child had suffered from depression since their school days due to their father’s demands,” Marina shared.
She concluded her post by urging parents to prioritise healthy discussion and the sharing of perspectives over making unilateral decisions for their children’s futures.
What are your thoughts on this? Should parents have a say in their children’s career paths, or should the choice be entirely up to the student? Feel free to share your views in the comments.
Also read: Form 4 Student from Underprivileged Family Skips Meals at School to Save Up for Tuition Fees
