“I feel useless after becoming doctor” – M’sian Woman Says Working in Healthcare Demotivates Her

Working as a healthcare worker isn’t all rainbows and sunshine, especially when you’re pulling extra hours and suffering from sleep deprivation. The job can be incredibly demanding and often takes a toll on your physical and mental well-being.

In a recent confession story shared by @twtsecretsmy, a woman (let’s call her Amira) working as a doctor in healthcare revealed that the job isn’t as great as she initially thought it would be.

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She used to be a different person before becoming a doctor

Amira shared that she used to be carefree and stress-free before becoming a doctor. After getting married right out of med school, she moved to another state to start her career as an HO (house officer), now an MO (medical officer), and eventually became a mom.

She went on to explain that, at the time, her life seemed to be on the perfect path she had always dreamed of, but halfway through, she realised it wasn’t what she had imagined.

“Everyone knows how tough it is working in the local healthcare system. Since I started as an HO and even now, I just feel overwhelmed. As an HO, you constantly feel demotivated and useless,” she added.

“I don’t fit in here and no one seems to like me”

Amira explained that during her time as an HO, she was treated poorly by everyone in the healthcare system, regardless of their position.

“Not everything bad in my life is because of the healthcare system. Other factors include where I currently live, who I live with, my financial situation, and more.”

Even though she’s now an MO, she still feels scarred by those experiences and isn’t sure when or if that feeling will ever go away.

She moved to a more supportive department but things took a turn

Amira went on to share how her mental health took a hit before she chose to switch to a different, more supportive department.

Because of this, she chose to take things at a slower pace to focus on her recovery from the previous bad experiences. Unfortunately, this careful approach led to her giving a not-so-great 1st impression, especially with her superiors.

“After my boss scolded me, I feel even more worthless and awful. Despite my efforts to improve, I still struggle to feel good about myself. I feel pressured to excel in my work without enough time, especially with our lack of manpower, I’m always expected to work at a fast pace.”

She mentioned that her mental state has improved significantly since switching departments, but she still feels she hasn’t reached 100% in terms of her performance.

“Maybe I’m just not good at my job”

Amira then mentioned that while she isn’t depressed or suicidal anymore, she still feels anxious and tends to overthink things at times.

She revealed that she’s uncertain whether she should give up and return home, feeling she’s reached a breaking point with her job and life.

“I’m waiting for a sign or something better to come along so I can leave without regrets.”

 

Long shifts and high-stress situations in the workplace are the norm, leaving little time for rest and personal life, especially in the healthcare system. Can you relate to what Amira’s going through? Drop your thoughts in the comments!

Also read: “I’m the only staff” – Doctor Shares How a M’sian Woman Asked for 2 Days’ MC on Labour Day Due to Exhaustion