WARNING: This article discusses physical abuse and may be upsetting to some readers.
Growing up, not many of us are taught how to recognise the 1st telltale signs of toxic relationships. Sure, we were told to steer clear of trusting someone too soon, and maybe we’ve read a few obscure love stories online about the do’s and don’ts about how to treat a partner, but that’s about it.
While many Malaysians have bravely shared their experiences with toxic relationships, Natalie stands out for her courage in doing the same.
For illustration purposes only
“Narcissistic relationship”
Natalie took to Instagram to share her awful experience of being in what she describes as a “narcissistic relationship” with her boyfriend, Aaron (pseudonym).
In her post, she explains that she hadn’t planned to go public with her story, but felt compelled to after things got out of hand during an argument with Aaron on August 3rd.
He choked her out of anger
Natalie described how things went wrong after she and Aaron attended a birthday party. While he started drinking around 9:40 PM and kept at it until 2 AM, she didn’t drink at all that night.
She claims that when they got back to his place, he began to lash out at her over a minor disagreement he had with a friend, and then started choking her repeatedly.
“He pulled my hair, pushed me, and even slapped me. The abuse went on for about an hour. When he went to the bathroom to calm down, I took the chance to leave because I didn’t feel safe,” she said.
He smashed her car windshield to get to her
While Natalie was just 5 minutes away from her home, she noticed a car driving recklessly behind her. It turned out to be Aaron, who manoeuvred in front of her to block her way.
She said that their cars ended up stopped on a two-lane highway. Aaron then got out of his car, yelled at her for leaving, and began kicking her car and smashing her windshield to get to her.
“This happened at around 5 AM. He opened my door, started kicking me, pulling my hair, and punching me in the ear, jaw, and head. He also choked me and yanked at my shirt,” she recounted.
He had a social media account to text other girls and arrange for meet-ups
Luckily, a passerby from the opposite lane noticed them and got out of his car to ask why they were stopped in the middle of the highway.
Natalie mentioned that while Aaron went to talk to the passerby, she seized the chance to drive home.
“Throughout this relationship, I was cheated on and abused multiple times. I was abused for asking if he was looking at other girls, especially when he was drunk and I noticed inappropriate eye contact. He would abuse me for ‘accusing’ him every time I asked about it.”
Following the incident, she found out that he had been using a newly created account with a strange name to text other girls, ask for nudes, send nudes, and arrange meet-ups. These girls were from his past, new acquaintances, or people he met at parties.
“I often felt crazy for thinking, feeling, and asking certain questions. I hope this message raises awareness for other girls and serves as a reminder to myself.”
Abuse can lead to trauma and leave a lasting emotional impact on someone. We hope Natalie is coping well and that no one else has to endure such a terrible experience.
Also read: WATCH: M’sian Reveals on Social Media How Abusive Her Relationship Has Been
