A man from China has shared his dilemma regarding his sister’s desire to marry an unemployed Malaysian man who is ten years her senior.
The 大马一定行 Facebook page featured the man’s predicament, in which he questioned how to dissuade his sister after she claimed that the Malaysian man’s honesty and sincerity were reason enough to marry him.
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“My sister comes from an ordinary family in China, has a stable job, is above average in looks, and has a somewhat naive personality. She recently travelled to Malaysia and met a local man who is ten years older than her, about 165cm tall, with a dark complexion. He is currently unemployed and seeking work,” the man shared.
The appeal of ‘sincerity’
According to the brother, the suitor reportedly has RM300,000 in savings, accumulated before the pandemic. Despite this, the family remains unconvinced.
“Now, my sister is determined to marry him. Our family has tried everything, from pleading and offering sound advice to nagging, but nothing has worked. Her only justification is that he is sincere, honest, and treats her well,” he explained.
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The man further detailed how he questioned his sister on how she would navigate differences in religion and culture, particularly regarding future children.
“She said the man told her he doesn’t believe in those things and that she needn’t worry. I asked, ‘What about his family? His mother and relatives? Will they ignore this?’ She replied that the man said they could simply move out. What is even more disheartening is that a couple of days ago, she told me, ‘If you keep pressuring me, I’ll just go and marry him there and never come back.'”
Financial and legal uncertainties
The brother clarified that he has no inherent issue with transnational marriages, nor does he look down on those with modest means. However, he is deeply concerned about the practicalities of the union.
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“The problem lies in the man’s current situation: he is unemployed and significantly older. While RM300,000 in savings sounds acceptable, how long can that truly last in Kuala Lumpur? How much of those pre-pandemic savings actually remain? He claims he doesn’t care about religion, but how will they navigate marriage laws, family laws, and the legal status of children there? Has he explained those complexities clearly?”
The brother noted that his sister seems blinded by the honeymoon phase of the relationship.
“My sister’s mind is filled with the idea that ‘he is good to her,’ but the question is: who isn’t good to you during courtship? What happens after marriage? Has she considered that?”
Ultimately, he advised his mother against using force or pressure, fearing it would only make his sister more rebellious.
“But we cannot just stand by and watch her jump into this,” he concluded.
What do you think of the man’s plight? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section.
