Recently, a Malaysian husband has gone viral for an information he shared about his marriage. Dr. Kamarul, who has quite a following on Twitter, was merely sharing how his wife manages their household as a working woman when netizens accused him of being incompetent.
Getting detailed instructions from wife
In the tweet, he said, “This is how my wife manages the household even when she’s at work. She cooks, cleans, and plans everything ahead“.
He also included a few screenshots of his and his wife’s chat. They showed very detailed instructions from Dr. Kamarul’s wife to him on how to prepare the curry and roti jala she had stored in the fridge for the next day’s meal.
For example, “Please save 8 pieces (4 each for Weena and Amal) of roti jala and place them in the tiffin carrier (tier 1 and 2) and the curry in tier 3“.
Dr. Kamarul explained that if his wife goes to work, he’ll complete all the tasks according to the guideline given. “Everything’s clear, has a number, label and explanation. She’ll inform me both orally and on text.”
“Because her guide is detailed, if there’re any mistakes, it definitely comes from me. Not her. So, I will do my best to carry out my responsibility perfectly. I will also try to manage all other matters as well as she does.”
“Needs his wife to tell him what to do”
Since sharing about him and his wife’s dynamic, Dr. Kamarul’s tweet has attracted a lot of attention from Malaysians.
Some netizens accused Dr. Kamarul of being incompetent because he needs his wife to tell him what to do.
However, others defended him and said that they understand how the couple operates. “It’s not because he can’t do it, but we’re scared that it’s not done the way we want it to be done“, said one netizen.
Women’s mental load
At the same time, another netizen pointed out that although the detailed instructions from Dr. Kamarul’s wife are given voluntarily, it also shows the mental and emotional labour that women take on when they THINK about household chores.
Therefore, it is important for both husband and wife to co-lead household chores and family activities-planning.
Dr. Kamarul’s wife chimes in
In the thread, Dr. Kamarul’s wife, Dayana also shared her two cents on the whole matter. She emphasized the importance of communication and sharing responsibilities in the relationship.
“I do the cleaning because I want the house to be cleaned a certain away. I handle the food preparation and cleaning, and he handles the kids in the morning, getting them ready and sending them to school”, she explains.
Do you think there’s anything wrong with how Dr. Kamarul and his wife handles their household matters?
Also read: Tired M’sian Asks Husband To Help Out With Chores, He Says It’s Haram for Him To Cook
