Connect with us

Social Stories

“Don’t give her advice” – M’sians Share Insights On How To Deal With Their Girlfriends’ Feelings


Collage Validate
Source: Twitter & 123RF

Follow us on Facebook, Youtube, Twitter, and Instagram for the latest stories and updates daily.

One of the things most commonly cited as being important in a relationship is effective communication.

However, many other things are just as essential but are less frequently mentioned.

One of them is listening skills and giving emotional validation.

“Don’t advise her.”

Recently, a Twitter user tweeted about what men should do when their girlfriends are venting.

“If your girlfriend is complaining and angry about something, join them. Don’t advise her. Do you want to get scolded or what?” she said.

“This is not the time for you to nag or give advice. Do you know how stressful it is to have someone nag you when you just want to vent your frustrations?

Instead of immediately providing advice and solutions, as men tend to do, they should “join in” on the venting session.

72663533 L


This sentiment was echoed by a netizen who shared his personal experience.

“It is true. We men, we fix stuff. When we hear problems, our brains immediately create 1000 solutions,” he said, adding that after nine years of being in a relationship, he learned that it is very SIMPLE.

When the girl says, “I hate my boss!”, just agree and say, “Yes, your boss is annoying, inconsiderate and selfish.”

1 11


Validation ≠ Agreement

However, netizens in the replies quickly pointed out that ‘joining in’ on the venting session does not equate to an agreement.

“We may disagree with what our partners are complaining about and want to correct them, but hold it in and understand their feelings first.”

“When she has cooled down, try to speak slowly with her before giving solutions.”

160865461 L


“It is not about us joining in on the bashing party. It is about knowing how to listen and give validation to one’s situation, feelings, thoughts and opinions.”

Example 1: My boss scolds the staff every day. It’s so stressful.

Validation 1: Are you serious? If I were you, I would be stressed too.

Example 2: My mum is treating me so badly!

Validation 2: You must be really hurt to say that. What did she do to you?

2 9


The importance of validation

In addition to the ‘how’, some netizens also shared why emotional validation is crucial.

“It creates an environment where we feel heard and seen. Don’t dismiss or rush to find a solution. Acknowledge the emotion first,” said one netizen.

87951239 L


Another shared how it is vital to validate a woman’s feelings as people are more inclined to label them as dramatic.

“Often, (women’s) feelings are disregarded, labelled irrelevant and unworthy. Their feelings are justified, but because they are women, people are usually quick to say, ‘You are being dramatic’.

Although these insights and tips were shared in the context of a relationship, they can definitely be applied to friendships and familial relationships too!


Also read: Caring M’sian Husband Puts Up Notice At The Back of His Car For Wife That Just Had A C-Section

Also Read 12

Source: 123RF
Source: Twitter
Source: 123RF
Source: Twitter
Source: 123RF

Follow us on Facebook, Youtube, Twitter, and Instagram for the latest stories and updates daily.

Just In

3 004 3 004
News16 hours ago

MUDA Party Hits The Streets For #NyawaDuluBaruPRU Protest

In recent weeks, the MUDA party has called for protest at the SOGO shopping complex in Kuala Lumpur, which started...

1 006 1 006
News17 hours ago

WATCH: Two Riders Victimised In Freak Accident By Reckless Drivers In Klang

Reckless driving is a serious traffic offense involving the reckless disregard of the safety of others. It can cause accidents, damage...

Feat Image Pm Un Rohingya Feat Image Pm Un Rohingya
News17 hours ago

PM Urges More Countries To Take In Rohingya Refugees During UN General Assembly Speech

Prime Minister Datuk Seri Ismail Sabri Yaakob has called upon all countries to take in more Rohingya refugees to be...

Feat Image Free Wifi Hospital Feat Image Free Wifi Hospital
News21 hours ago

KJ: All Government Hospitals To Provide Free WiFi, Starting With Hospital Rembau

Health Minister Khairy Jamaluddin has announced that the government intends to provide free WiFi at all government hospitals, with Hospital...

Bkm Bkm
News2 days ago

GOV: BKM Phase 3 Payout Will Commence on September 20, Phase 4 Payout in December

When the pandemic hit the world, many companies were forced to shut their company down or lay off some staff...

My Post 1 2022 09 23T121611.906 My Post 1 2022 09 23T121611.906
News2 days ago

Zahid Hamidi Acquitted by High Court of 40 Charges of Accepting Bribes

United Malays National Organisation (UMNO) President Datuk Seri Dr. Ahmad Zahid Hamidi has been acquitted by the Shah Alam High...

Collage 16 3 Collage 16 3
News2 days ago

PM Arrives in New York for UN General Assembly, Will Speak in BM to Promote the Language

As Malaysians, the mastery of the Malay language, which is also the official language of the country is undeniably important,...

Collage Drain Collage Drain
News3 days ago

Sarawak Fire Department Saves M’sian Man Who Fell Into a 12-Foot Deep Drain

We are often told cautionary tales by our parents and teachers to warn us of the various bad things that...


Latest Videos