Confused M’sian Unsure If She Should Break Up As Her BF Wants Her To Pay Half The Dowry

Weddings are usually costly as the couple would have to cater to all the people who they’re inviting. That being said, many couples have been wanting to keep their ceremonies small to help ease into marriage life with some money to spare.

Just recently, a disappointed Malaysian shared her story on a Twitter page stating,

“I would like some opinion from the netizens. When you’re about to get married, there will usually be hantaran given to the girl’s family, am I right? But of course, if we want to help, that’s also possible. I know that my boyfriend has enough money to cover the hantaran, he has more than enough to cover for it, but I don’t have enough.”

She shared that she is still in the midst of saving up but with her current savings, she would need another 5 years to reach her targeted amount. She mentioned that when she told her boyfriend about it, he was persistent that they should split everything in half.

“I’m not saying that I don’t want to pay, I just didn’t expect for me to pay half of it. I thought guys would usually be willing to cover more, but it seems like I was wrong. We’ve been together for 3 years and I’m not sure if I want to wait another 5 years to get married. When he mentioned that he doesn’t want to get married until I have my half of the money, I just feel played“, she added.

She then ended her post saying that she comes from an average family, but she is struggling a little to make ends meet and save up at the same time.

“I feel like he is so calculative and now I’m just afraid that he will become worse after we’re married. What should I do? Should I break up?”

Many netizens have advised that she should discuss with her boyfriend before making any rash decisions while some were questioning her as to why she didn’t save up when she started dating him.

“If I were you. I would’ve started saving up along with him. Maybe you could discuss and see if he could pay for the hantaran while you pay for things like decorations for the house the both of you will stay in. You can’t keep finding fault with the guy and not see your own flaws. You cannot expect to live off of other people’s hard work.”

“3 years and you didn’t even bother to start saving up. Now when he wants it to be fair and square, you say you felt played. Who is playing who now?”

“You should try discussing with him first. When it comes to money, it will definitely be a hard chapter to swallow. Maybe you could let him know that you’re willing to cover other things in the wedding like, photographers, make up and other things that aren’t so taxing. Just be transparent with each other. Don’t give up yet, just try to discuss with him properly.”

Money is a sensitive topic and it’s best to always communicate with your partners on the expectations you have towards each other before taking the next step.

Have you ever been in a situation like this? Let us know in the comments below! 

Also read: M’sian Woman Heartbroken That Her BF Cheated On Her Despite Giving Him RM5,000 Every Month