M’sian Dad Urges the Elderly to Stop Forcing Their Adult Kids to Get Married & Have Children

Once you hit a certain age, the first question you’ll hear from your family members is ‘when are you getting married?‘. And once you get married, the next question you’ll hear is ‘when are you having children?‘.

And while for some people, these are merely teasing questions, for many others, it’s a bombardment from their elderly parents on how they should live their lives.

A Malaysian father recently took to the XUAN Play Facebook page to anonymously urge elderly parents to stop forcing their adult children into getting married and having children, as he shares the disadvantages of having kids in this day and age.

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He wrote, “I come from a traditional family with grandparents, parents, brothers and sisters. I got married and had children in my 20s, and now I am nearly 40-years-old and a father of several children.”

“I used to be very traditional, thinking that I should get married and have children early to meet the expectations of the elders and to allow them to have the joy of having many kids and grandchildren. However, after these years of raising children, my mindset has completely changed.”

He believes that having children is a responsibility that many adults these days can no longer handle. 

“There are too many disadvantages to having children. With more children, your costs also increases immensely. It is difficult to enjoy food peacefully when taking children out for dinner. There is no time to go on dates with your wife, let alone to travel,”

“Moreover, this responsibility is a lifelong one.”

He added that children frequently get sick and that he and his wife often have to break up fights between his kids, which often leads to tears among their children.

Hence, because of this, he urges elderly parents to stop forcing their adult children into getting married and having children.

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“What I want to say is that it is better for the elderly not to instill these traditional ideas of marriage and having children in their kids and grandkids, especially the urge to marry and have children. Unless you have hundreds of millions to pass on, or that you can contribute all your money to help raise your grandchildren, please accept reality quietly.”

“Because working parents use all of their money to raise their children, and they end up having no life. Can such a life be called a good one? I envy those couples who don’t have kids, who are free and unburdened, and do not have to bear the pain of their kids getting sick or having to lose their child,” he said.

He also added that he wishes his kids will live comfortably without children of their own, and that he is hoping to go through unconditional euthanasia at the age of 60 to 70 as he doesn’t want to be a burden to his kids when he is too old to care for himself so that they can live freely.

Do you think it is healthy of elderly parents to force or guilt trip their adult children into getting married and having children? Do feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section.

Also read: M’sian Shares How They’re Choosing to be Childfree as Their Elderly Parents are Fully Dependent on Them