We sometimes hold on to unhealthy friendships simply because we don’t realize how toxic some friends can be. If you ever want to achieve happiness, it’s time to let go of all of the toxic people in your life. Not sure if a friend is genuine or toxic? Here are the 10 signs that will indicate if they indeed are bad for you!
1. They never really listen to any of your problems
Anyone can ‘listen’ to you problems, but are they actually paying attention to what you’re saying, instead of giving the nonchalant replies like, “Oh wow. that sounds awful”, “Well, sucks to be you”, etc.
Sometimes, they even hijack all conversations and focus it back onto them.
These kind of people expect you to be there for them, but refuse to be there for you in return. They’re too self absorbed to realise that friendship is a two way street.
2. They are quick to point out your flaws
I had a friend that for some reason, cannot get over the fact that I’m very petite. She tries to highlight it every chance she gets – When she found out I weighed less than her, she said it’s because I’m short. When she saw I could fit some clothes better than her, she also loudly proclaims that it’s because I’m a ‘midget’.
These people always try to put others down because they, deep inside, feel inferior and insecure. By belittling others, they gain that ‘boost’ of self-esteem they so desperately need.
3. They aren’t happy if you achieve success
People who love you will be thrilled to see you achieve success. Friends who don’t acknowledge and are envious of your success are friends who won’t go anyway. In other words,
It’s important for friends to be happy for each other and celebrate each other’s good fortune. If you can’t count on your friends to bring you up, what’s the point in having any?
4. They don’t bother to keep in touch
Yeah, life can get pretty crazy and busy, but true friends would still find the time to check up once in a while, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU TEXTED THEM SOMETHING IMPORTANT! Even if they can’t meet up, it’s 2017 lah. How busy can you be to not be able to send a simple ‘Hey’?
If you find yourself being the only one constantly reaching out while they seem uninterested in maintaining the relationship, then it’s time to re-consider the friendship itself. However, before you cut ties, you should also see if there were any misunderstandings, if the other party is offended in any way, or if they are completely swamped emotionally and physically.
5. They guilt trip you into doing things you don’t want to do
When you’re around them, they constantly peer pressure you to do things you don’t feel comfortable doing, and make you feel guilty if you refuse to join in. Although it’s good to be around people who try to get you out of your comfort zone, it’s superbly toxic when they keep forcing you to do things you don’t really want to do.
6. They are always unreliable
OK, Malaysians tend to be bad at being punctual in general, but it’s a whole different matter when someone constantly flakes out. You know, that one friend that you KNOW in your gut that is going to FFK the very last minute, and then you’ll always ask yourself, “Why did I even bother???”
7. You dread seeing them for longer than a few hours
If you can’t deal with a friend longer than a few hours before feeling drained, then it’s probably a sign that your mind and body is telling you that this person is toxic. Your subconscious mind and body knows best!
8. You can’t trust them with important secrets
We all have friends that love to gossip, and we sometimes join the fun with them, but if your friend constantly betrays your secrets to other people, then you are definitely better off without them. Gossiping is a bad habit we all have, but when a friend blabs a secret you clearly told them never to reveal to others, then it’s high time to cut them out of your life.
9. They take advantage of you and when you confront them, they tell you ‘how much you’ve wronged them too’
Toxic people take advantage of your generosity and give nothing in return. They just take, take and take, and if you confront them about their behaviour, they’ll quickly get defensive and go to town about how many times you’ve allegedly taken advantage of them too. They just love playing the victim card.
10. They are unwilling to change for the better
Change is good. We, as humans, are constantly changing. To maintain friendships, we all have to grow as people, and adapt to one another to an extent that is valuable to both of you. Friends that are dead set on their old ways, and don’t attempt to change and grow as a person is someone you will be better off without.
Know any more signs that your friends are toxic? Share with us in the comments below.
Also read: 5 Things Malaysians Can Do To Ensure A Better Future For Their Loved Ones
